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To paraphrase Frank Zappa's line about young people and music: "America's Got Talent" judge Piers Morgan wouldn't know talent if it bit him in the ass. I know that they say that he's just "playing the role" of the mean guy on the American version of the show, but I wouldn't risk having the whole world view me as an asshole just for the gig. Okay, yes I would. But, still.
His inability to see the humor of the only two actual comedians on the show (J. Chris Newburg and Geechy Guy) should be indication enough that he has no business sitting in the judges chair. The other judges liked them. The audience was howling with laughter. And Piers had the audacity to tell Geechy Guy that his jokes were like getting hit in the head with a hammer. Maybe actually getting hit in the head with a hammer would knock some sense into him.
I'm sure there are some defenders of his opinions. Every once in a while I even agree with him. But his arrogant, ill-informed opinions have repeatedly shown that he just doesn't know what the hell he is talking about.
Take for instance when singer Taylor Davis made his final appearance on August 2nd, Piers criticized him saying that he was singing off-key. He was not singing off key. That was verified by people who actually can tell if someone is singing off key. Can't judge humor. Can't judge singers. And why is he there?
Oh, maybe because he can judge novelty, dance and danger acts? Nope. He sucks at that as well.
In the past two weekly opportunities to put through either the number four or number five most voted-for contestants he showed his incredible ineptness again. Last week, he chose Professor Splash (the guy who dives into a small pool of water) as the one to move on to the next round. Piers stated that he put him through because he thought he had the best chance to have a great show in Vegas. Really? REALLY? This is the same guy who, after his last dive, had to be taken to the hospital to be checked out and his body was covered in bruises. And Piers thinks that he can do this multiple times per day in Vegas? What are they going to do, add a hospital wing onto the casino?
Then, last night (August 3rd), Piers had to decide between comedian/impressionist Melissa Villasenor and juggler Charles Peachock. Although Melissa had a very good first set in the early going, it was pretty clear that she was new to the business and doesn't really have all that much material. Her first set included impressions of Kathy Griffin Miley Cyrus and they were spot on, but she even indicated that she's pretty much an open miker and I suspected that her first spot exhausted her best material. She proved me right with her last appearance which didn't have a lick of comedy in it, and the impressions were only okay at best.
But, back to Piers Morgan. To further point out that he really doesn't have a clue, he mildly admonished Melissa by pointing out that she was much better in the Vegas round. She wasn't even in Vegas. She was put right through to the Hollywood round. Oops. Hey Piers, was that your Paula Abduhl impression?
So again, it came down to Piers deciding between Melissa and Charles as to who gets to move on (with one vote each from Howie Mandel and Sharon Osbourne). Instead of choosing the act who has exhibited three separate and somewhat amazing juggling spectacles which looked very much like a Vegas act, he chose the one with very little experience and even less material.
Please, NBC, get this dufus off the show. Let him go back to CNN and his other show, where he exhibits that he's almost as bad an interviewer as he is a judge.
Sorry, Piers, but you know what they say: Judge not, lest ye be judged.
So, here's what I think you should do: Go to the NBC Wild Card page and click on Geechy Guy to return to the show. He has "so many jokes it's not even funny" and would bring actual comedy back to AGT.
Geechy Guy tells jokes. Piers Morgan is one.
