Funny Fotos I Found or Phunny Photos I Phound

There's nothing like a funny photo. It takes no work to look at it, and you immediately know whether it's funny or not. For some reason funny photos or images seem to be less subjective than jokes. Here's a few I love. You can find more at the Interactive Lunacy web site.



Maybe Rick Perry should just learn to keep his mouth shut.









Farts, air biscuits, trouser coughs or whatever you call them..we all do it..so lighten up.

It always amazes me when people get indignant, insulted or even offended when some cuts a fart. Come on! We all do it. (Even Whoopi Goldberg on the View.)

 

Find me one person who has never let one loose inappropriately and I'll show you a goddam liar. It happens to everyone. Whether it's a loud expression of flatulatory release, or a classic "silent but deadly" one-cheek-sneak that you never even have to claim, it happens to all of us.

 

Don't be offended, people. Farting around close friends and family members can actually help you bond and become closer. Being able to share such an intimate and olfactorily offensive activity shows a real trust and love. If someone shares their fart with you, relish it. Be thankful that this person feels so comfortable with you that they will actually bring attention to the occurrence and share it with you.

 

Okay, there probably isn't anyone who actually enjoys when someone shares their flatulence, but maybe you feel comfortable enough with the other person to share it as a method of semi-cruel practical jokedness. These situations are always great fun and a wonderful story to tell for years to come. One time, when I used to work in a sales office, one of the other sales consultants (I'll call him Drake...because that was his name), was in the showroom with a customer. I could see that the conversation was leading to Drake inviting the gentleman into his office for further discussion and to close the deal. Because I was just about ready to release an air biscuit, I took the opportunity to rush into Drake's office and release it there, before he arrived with his customer. Comedy gold!

 

Sometimes, you can show someone how much you care for them by directing them away from the trouser cough. On one occasion (okay, many occasions), while grocery shopping with my wife, we separated to different aisles to locate items on our grocery list. When she returned to my aisle and began approaching me, I quickly moved toward her and said, "You might not want to go down this aisle right at this moment." How loving is that?

 

So, before you point the finger at someone for farting, make sure you don't linger...or they may just pull it.

What would you rather forget, your cell phone or your cigar saver?

For me, one of the most important cigar accessories is the cigar saver . It's really nothing more than a plastic tube with a hinged lid on it. You can take a lit cigar, drop it down the tube where it will be immediately extinguished, and then pull it out later to re-light and enjoy.

Even though I'm neurotically attached to my Android device, I would rather forget my phone than my cigar saver. Since it is a very rare occasion that I can enjoy an entire cigar in one sitting, the cigar saver affords me the ability to step out, enjoy part of a cigar and save the rest for later.

The only drawback to using a cigar saver is that when you place a fully lit cigar into it, the lighted end turns into a hard charcoal-like nub, making it a bit difficult to re-light. I don't recommend this with a really expensive cigar, but with my Quorum's I have developed a nearly flawless method of flicking off the hard nub much in the same manner that you would flick a booger. (Oh come on, you know you do it.)

Another tip if you plan to purchase a cigar saver: before you drop your lit cigar down the tube (lighted end down), take a reverse puff. Blow "through" the cigar forcing the smoke out the lighted end. This will get the stale smoke out of the cigar and will taste much better upon re-lighting.

So, it's like this...brief ponderings about being punctilious, tolerating intolerance and more

So, it's like this....

• I like Fiber One bars. A lot. Excuse me, I'll be right back.

• One of my many faults: I'm quite intolerant of intolerance.

• I never see an occasion where I would want to write anything on my Rice Krispie Treat wrapper. They have left a big white area so that you can write a cute message or something on the front of your treat. I think it was just some lazy-ass graphic artist who said, "Hey, let's just leave a bunch of white space on the front." Even if I did want to add a message to my snack, that's what Post-It notes are for.

• I've been promoting my freelance marketing, advertising, public relations and graphic design work by saying that I'm a Punctilious Marketing Specialist. Now, I'm just trying to figure out a way to get paid by dictionary.com for all of the people I'm sending their way to look up punctilious.

• I went to the Fortune Telling Bingo page and my fortune was: "You will repeatedly spank sticky, soggy panties." I don't know what that means, but I'm pretty sure I'd be happy to do it.

What's your BINGO fortune?



Okay, as you were...only better.

Blame it on Cain, crappy coffee concerns and wacky interactive fortune teller

Writing comedy for Herman Cain
I wish I had been a speech writing consultant for Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain at last night's West Coast, Las Vegas Republican Debate. When they asked each of the candidates to briefly explain their differences from President Obama I would have advised him to say, "Frankly, it's black and white. No wait, not exactly..." and then go on with his point.

Coffee dilemmas
I'm working in an office building in downtown Detroit. The coffee is provided by the employer. It's not great coffee. It's brewed in one of those giant, three-burner, industrial Bunsen-like coffee machines. The machine has been there (without any internal cleaning that I know of) for at least five years. This makes it hard to determine whether the coffee tastes like it does because of the ground coffee or the maker. I think both.

Then to make matters worse, the plastic/aluminim, welded-shut, single-pot envelope which contains the coffee is supposed to have a little slit on the side for easy tearing and dumping into the filter basket. About 80% of the little envelopes have no little slit, forcing you to pursue alternative methods of openage. The simplest and most obvious would be to walk back to my desk, get a pair of scissors and return to cut the bag. Or better yet, just bring the bag with me to my desk (it's not that heavy), cut it and return to the coffee making area. But that would be wasting 70 steps that I can use later to move toward a location I'd rather be heading toward.

The only other option is to attempt to pull each side open, separating the sides which have been very carefully crazy-glued together so that when you do finally get them to snap apart the coffee grounds go flying everywhere.

This is a lot of work for a bad cup of coffee.

Of course, I'm pretty spoiled because at home I use the Keurig B60 Special Edition Gourmet Single-Cup Home-Brewing System  

Looking for stupid fun?
Of course you are. Take a look at this clever, funny lunatic who created an interactive, online fortune telling video.

Peace on you all.

Two favorite REAL funny photos - Exit before Tweeting and Serving Size one bite

Not much need be said about these two great photos. If you really want one of the Exit Before Tweeting signs you can order from Shark Robot.

Hey look! Only 80 calories! But check out the Serving Size.

Creepy or cool? QR codes on tombstones; Homer Simpson in the flesh photo

Is this creepy or cool?

Is this creepy or cool? In Japan, they are putting QR codes on tombstones at cemeteries. That way, visitors to the grave can scan the code with their Smartphone and see a picture of the deceased, read a eulogy or even watch a video. I'd make a video before I died of me inside of a coffin, still alive, pounding to get out. And I'd make sure there was a shovel nearby.

Homer in the flesh. Is this disgusting or hilarious?

I'm thinking both.