• Remember back when hating nostalgia was fashionable? Those were the days.
• Speaking of nostalgia, I remember when a government meltdown involved gold and other precious metals.
• Factcheck.org has been factchecked by many factcheckers. Pick a topic presented by either side and you will probably find factcheck.org blowing holes in it. Super Pac Obama anti-Romney commercial? Full of bullshit. Super Pac Romney anti-Obama propaganda? Mostly bullshit. The problem with the internet is that people use it to find stories that support what they think they think, and then post it as fact. As was so astutely noted on the Showtime show "The Big C:" the Internet isn't for information....it's for porn.
• When I use a urinal, I generally use my left hand. That leaves my right hand available for texting. Still wanna borrow my phone?
• Why do they call it "fancy ketchup?" What makes it fancy? Could I get less fancy ketchup cheaper? Where do I get that?
• Josh Hamilton of the Texas Rangers hit four home runs in one game on May 8, 2012. Amazing! Even more astonishing, that spectacular feat has been accomplished on 16 other occasions. Seeing that on the news reminded me of June 24, 1968 when Jim Northrup of the Detroit Tigers hit two grand slams in one game. To me, that's even freakier because what are the odds of even coming up to the plate in a bases-loaded situation twice in one game. I guess technically every player who ever hit two home runs in the same game could have a shot at the two grand slam thing, if only his damn team would load up the bases for him.
• The best thing about winter is that you don't have to cut the grass or clean the pool. The worst thing about winter is that you don't have to cut the grass or clean the pool.
• The T.S.A. has been instructed to stop harassing celebrities and let them get through at airports quicker. Expect an increase in celebrity look alike terrorists.
Comedian/writer Gary Thison shares. Please subscribe to stay up to date on what a dime-a-dozen, cheap, two-bit stand up comic thinks. If you don't have an opinion, Gary will give you one. But please keep in mind, the views and opinions of Gary Thison are not necessarily even the views of Gary Thison. Sometimes he just says shit without thinking. Follow on Twitter: http://twitter.com/comedygary Visit Gary's other pages at http://clickoncomedy.com, http://interactivelunacy.com
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