Pondering Randomly - Hey, someone has to think of this crap!

Okay, okay, I know I've been negligent. If you really need to get a fix of my absurd ramblings, make sure you friend me on Facebook and/or follow on Twitter. Okay, here goes:

Ultimate Photo Bomb: If you want to piss off friends and family, the next time someone hands you their phone and asks you to take their picture, switch the camera to the forward facing camera, tell them to smile and click a picture of yourself. Then quickly close the screen and hand them back their camera.

My Plan to Help the Economy: Statistically, the richest people in the country are senior citizens. So, instead of giving seniors a discount, we should charge them more. Wait! Scratch that.

Normalcy: I took a Sominex and washed it down with a Red Bull. Man did I feel normal.

Naming your dog: I wanted to name my new dog Shot or Bucket, so it would be funny when I called her.

Nice to Meet You: My new introduction when I meet someone: "Hi, my name is Gary. But my friends call me Dick."

Brief nudity not so brief; device for man to understand womanspeak and more pop culture absurdities

They are developing an electronic device which will allow you to put in earpieces and have any language interpreted and played in your headphones. It further allows you to speak into a microphone and what you say will be translated to their language and played through a speaker. Amazing! Now if they could only come up with a similar device where, when you put it on, a man could understand womanspeak.

 

When watching a movie with a DVR, brief nudity is not necessarily so brief. I have pause button.

 

At least Apple didn't call their new product a MiniPad.

 

How did the metric system overtake our beverage cans and bottles information? Now, large bottles of soft drinks are 16.9 ounces or 1.05 pints. What are they doing, just trying to remind us that our method of measurement sucks? 16.9 ounces equals 500 mL. Oh, metric system, you're so cool with your round numbers. But, what if we left it at 16 ounces? How many mL is that, smarty pants? It's something like 497.036 mL. Not so cool now are you?

 

Many times in my life I've heard people say that you should let tap water run for a few seconds before filling your glass and drinking it, because the water that first comes out of the tap has been sitting there stagnant for a while. Isn't the water just behind simply water that was sitting stagnant further down the pipeline?

 

93% of the African American population voted for President Obama. Studies show that the other 7% may have simply made a mistake.

 

I remember when I used to have a rotary cellphone.

 

I'm not sure what my being aware of breast cancer does to help the cause. They should call it Donate Money to Breast Cancer Research Month. Just for us stupid people.

I sometimes listen to those Music Choice channels on cable. I was watching/listening to the Classic Rock channel and most of the ads were for senior emergency alert and hair restoration. Truly WTF??

Here's something you simply don't hear anymore, "Hurry up, I need to use the phone."

After the brutal political season Thomas Jefferson and I have some advice

Thanks to Facebook and extreme right wing and left wing postings, many friendships have been torn  apart. So, in light of  the election finally being behind us, I wanted to share some of the wisdom of Thomas Jefferson and some of the absurdity of me (with the help of Photoshop).