Friday, February 15, 2013

Crazy Contemplations - Pop Culture, Politics and Potty Humor

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Posted for your ridicule:

I watched the State of the Union, listened to Rubio's response and read the entire transcript of the Tea Party response. After taking in all of the valid points and sentiments of each, one can only determine that they're all full of shit.

One time I gave up sex for Lent. My wife asked me what I gave up. I said, "Try to guess." She never figured it out.

You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear. Maybe not, but you can make a pretty cool sow's ear purse.

I believe in spirits. Mostly Scotch, but sometimes vodka or bourbon.

I was thinking that sometimes apostrophes can be so possessive.

Some jokes are timeless, and some times are jokeless.

Clever quotes are for people who can't write jokes. Wait...

Absolute power corrupts absolutely. Absolut vodka gets you drunk and you don't give a shit.

Once you lose your mind, life is a no-brainer.

When someone has something to tell you, good or bad, say nothing. Just listen. Intently. Do not comment. That really pisses them off.

It costs $10 a month to join Planet Fitness gym. First Monday's are free pizza night. That's one meal taken care of.

The Jet's Pizza television commercial claims to have invented the eight corner pizza. Is taking two small pizzas and putting them in the same box really an invention?

Personally, I think some of the more extreme NRA members should be shot! Oh, wait....

How come all of  Casper the Friendly Ghost's cousins have Dairy Queen ice cream swirl heads and Casper's looks like a Hostess Snow Ball?

I never finish anythi

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